Dave: What? Does this have something to do with the freakin' message board? Christ, can't we have one un-Survivor-related list?

Paul: ummmm, no, I don't think we can.

Dave: Ok, just asking. So here it is Top Ten Signs that You are an Attention Whore, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go, number

10. You make outrageous claims, such as "I invented the internet."

number
9. You sell 'Hard Copy' a sex video, starring you and Ed Asner.

number
8. You're on Big Brother, Your name = Jamie.

number
7. The same doctor that diagnoses your kid with attention deficet disorder, diagnoses you with attention whore disorder.

number
6. You still go Trick-or-Treating even though you're so old that you get winded knocking on the door.

number
5. You wear a fake beard and claim to be "The dude on the penny."

number
4. You can't have sex without a microphone and a live studio audience.

number
3. During the election, you voted for Jerry Springer.

number
2. Your pants all have 'Magically Delicious' embroidered on the crotch.

and the number one Sign that You are an Attention Whore.........
1. Screen Name: Attention Whore!